it's been a while.

so yeah, i posted a blog on myspace.

but it's so much more than that.

a lot of people can see thatone, so it got my basics out.
but the real deal is that i can't TRUST anyone.
i have ZERO faith in the people that used to surround me.
and the reason i write it here is because
those people that i can't trust don't know about this blog.

its frustrating.
i hate the DeSlow's [haha]
i hate douchebag Matt.
I'm learning that i cant trust the "twins"
[i might as well call them that
rumor has it that they mimic each other frustratingly often].
but this i do not know.
i can't trust Mr Mike.
.....ok not that i ever did.
but he and i were still on speaking terms when drama hit.
lol he and i are still on speaking terms.
and its sad cuz he hasn't done anything,
but by association i wont go there.

i still trust Toby and Amber in this town.
...well and little white, but thats separate.
and you too, andrea.
but thats separate too.

i mean, i've given these people everything...
shoulders to cry on,
food to eat,
words of advice,
support when thats the last thing i wanted to give,
a place to be,
forms of entertainment,
and someone who FOUGHT for them.
I stomped out rumors for them,
and what do they do in return?
spread some about me.

i just need to get away.
i need more money.
i need to be able to afford to leave.
Jen and shan, you guys are gone...
alyssa and alicia are gone....
if it weren't for Perrie and the rest of the family here...
both mine and his families i should say...
things would get ugly and reckless.

pretty much i hate them all.
but hey this is just making me stronger.
it's turning me into a bitch.
and i'm glad, because its a fucking ASSET.